my diamond rings

Traditionally, the marking of the passage to status of husband and wife is marked by the exchange of rings. These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver, for each is the giver and each is the receiver.

May these rings always remind you of the vows you are taking today. 

These are the words I say to most of the couples I marry. I picked out my own engagement ring with my husband, then fiance'. We went to Charlops Jewelers on downtown Main Street and bought a matching set, t.he wedding band had diamond chips, his wedding band had diamond chips, and my engagement ring had chips plus a quarter caret diamond. I was wildly excited and we got engaged for Easter, the same time as his sister, Kathy, and her fiance', before we both graduated from high school two months later. Kathy and Gary got married that December, Butch and I got married three years later. 

The ring never came off, and once we were married the ring still never came off. Then one day, maybe 20 years later, the diamond fell out and was no where to be found. I went two years without wearing an engagement ring until one Christmas Butch surprised me by taking the ring and having the diamond replaced. Still small, still beautiful and still mine. Then in 1999, it happened again, and I stayed without a ring until the Christmas of 2003.

November 2003, Butch said, "I want to replace your diamond ring for Christmas. Go out and buy the one you want." What a romantic! Not even, let's go look, what would you like, when should we go out together. Just, buy a ring.

2003 was the year of the forever diamond, a three stone ring representing past, present and future. I took one look as I was browsing rings and said this is it. I did not buy the ring on my own, I asked Butch to go Christmas shopping at the mall and told him we had to stop at Zales. We browsed a few other jewelry stores first, and Zales was having the best sale. We purchased the ring with it's LIFETIME diamond commitment! This meant that I had to have the diamonds checked and cleaned every six months. I added the task to my calendar and diligently went to Zales ever June and December, bringing the paperwork showing purchase and past inspections. 

I got the paperwork out to stop at the mall in June 2016, just stuffing it into my purse until I had a chance to stop by the mall. I went to the gym the last week of May, and felt this odd irritation / scratchiness on my finger. I glanced down and the small diamond was missing from the ring. 

The next day I found the time to run to Zales, knowing the paperwork is already with me.  I explained the situation and the sales clerk looked at my records, pulling it up on the computer as well as comparing the hard copy. He took my ring and said that many people do not come in for the inspections and the guarantee becomes null and void. Zales replaced the diamond at no cost to me. I had no ring for another 6 weeks but happily returned it to my finger the day before my birthday in July.

I was told that I can change the schedule coming in for inspection to both July and January and decided that I would rather stay on the existing schedule.

December is a nightmare for a non-shopper, as I am. I know that the mall is a shopping trip from hell with all the people, but Christmas 2016 I was again going to get my diamond checked, the first time since it's new replacement diamond was inserted. 

I stopped at Zales first, expecting no issues. The young man took the ring and the paperwork and came back to me with a strange look on his face. He said, "The large diamond in the center has a chip." He pulled out the eyepiece and had me look, there in front of me was a dark spot on MY diamond!

I asked if it could have boon there and the young man again reviewed the paperwork. He said he was the one who gave it back to me in July and there was no way the diamond was flawed then. We again filled out the paperwork and he kept my ring. He explained to me that if I were buying this diamond now, it would cost more that twice what I paid for the ring in 2003. 

I waited another six weeks, getting my ring back on my finger just in time for Valentine's Day, another holiday the my husband and I do not celebrate, but that is another story...

So far a happy ending to my happily ever after.

The perils of being trusting

I got an email asking if I was available next Wednesday at 11 a.m. I emailed back saying, yes I am available, this is what I charge and I also need both names, if you are exchanging rings and where do you want me to be.

I added that I am available by phone the next day after 1 p.m. I received a call from Georgie at 1:03 p.m. the next day. She said they were interested and that they already have the license. They want to get married at 11 a.m. and I told her that I would be able to adjust my schedule to make it happen.

I let her know that I can be available and we discussed the details. I then told her about the different unity ceremonies available and added that since we were going to be in her home, the venue of their choice, I can provide two separate samples as part of the draft and she and David can choose the one they want in the final program. We hung up with date, time and location firm.

When a ceremony is booked far in advance, I ask for a deposit of $25. When the ceremony is within one or two weeks, sometimes up to a month, I trust the couple to their word. I worked up a draft for Georgie, spending the extra time to pull together both a sand and candle ceremony. I sent it off as an email, both as an attachment and in the email text.

On Monday I sent the reminder email, confirming the details and asking which ceremony to include for Wednesday. Within minutes I received the email response, "I just spoke to my fiance, he have inform me that he would like to go with his choice, one of our close friend who is available to marry us. I want to thank you for following up."

My first concern was that they are using my draft, as if I can stop them. I quickly responded stating that they should not have received the draft if they were not committing to me, and that my words cannot be used. She answered back that she is deleting my email.

We are living is such a different world these days, and my cynicism continues to grow. I want to believe in people, I try to believe in people, and to trust them, but more and more, I do not.

I do have a Christmas eve wedding scheduled. The happiness of the Christmas season has yet to take hold of my heart. I've put up the tree, sent out my cards, have been shopping and over spending, I present smiles to the world and hope to be treated fairly and I truly am happy that most people are true to their words.

I've got four wedding scheduled for the new year already, all have made a deposit, and I have added a paypal deposit button to my newly designed website. Let's see what the new year brings....

www.eileencoladarci.com

An evening wedding in the park

John called me on a Monday asking for a wedding on Thursday. I provided the details: get the license from Danbury City Hall for a wedding at Tarrywile Park, explained the cost and procedure to have a quick wedding.

Denise called the next day to confirm an evening wedding on Thursday and we agreed to meet at the gazebo at 6:30 pm.

Thursday was another beautiful summer day and I met the couple as promised to marry them for the first time. Denise was a chemist originally from Chicago, John worked in New York City. They told me they were moving to Florida in two weeks so they both can go back to school. Love wins <3

The wedding procedure at it's best and worst

When someone calls to ask me to perform a ceremony, my first question is always, "Do you have your license?" The answer varies from couple to couple and I always explain that the license is good for 65 days and must be from the Town in which the ceremony will be held.

I recently got a call asking for a ceremony the next day. They had heard about me from a friend and wanted to have the ceremony in my home. I DID NOT ask the question. I wrongfully thought since they talked to someone, they knew the law and when I asked if they had their license, they said yes.

We set up a time for the wedding for 4 p.m. the next day. I told them to bring the license with them as well as payment. They arrived with their five year old daughter, Annie, in tow and we settled in to hold the ceremony. Annie, dressed in all pink for the special day, was given some books I keep on hand for such occasions. I asked for the license and upon review saw Ridgefield listed at the top of the page. Hoping I was wrong, I spoke to the couple and asked when and where they got their license.

I then explained that we will have to hold the ceremony in Ridgefield. I also said that I allow three to four hours for each couple and if they want to go somewhere in Ridgefield, I would be willing to follow them. We packed up the youngster and we all traipsed to the two cars for our unexpected journey. I followed the young couple to their home in Ridgefield.

By the time we reached their home, Annie had enough. She started whining and then flew into a full tantrum. I decided that we would hold the ceremony anyway. We gave Annie a doll to play with, she quieted a bit, at least enough that we were able to hear each other, and I quickly had the couple repeat their vows and pronounced them husband and wife.

Hoping that I could get to Town Hall before they closed, I rushed to the center of town. I missed the closing time by 15 minutes and texted the groom that I will go to Ridgefield again tomorrow to drop off the license. I got a quick text acknowledging my text and happy to report another happily ever after <3

April 18 continues

This wedding was originally scheduled for Tuesday, April 19 at 2 p.m. I called Luca and suggested we change the date because of the weather. Knowing I was going to be out anyway, I was the one to suggest 4 p.m. on Monday.

Luca is from Italy and he and Sarah said they found my website and knew I would be perfect. They saw I was Catholic and liked that I posted it. Luca has turned Sarah back onto God and they want to include a prayer in the ceremony. Of course I have no problem with it.

Luca was dressed business casual and Sarah had a simple dress with flowers in her hair and flowers to hold. They also put white balloons at the end of the parking lot so I would know where to turn in, but I arrived first after my earlier wedding at Tarrywile in Danbury. We walked to a flat rock farther into the park overlooking the water. The trail was a dirt path, following the rocks, down hill. I wore flats, but they were not sneakers or flip flops for comfort and ease to hike. The view was spectacular. The sun was out and it was a perfect day.

They wrote their own vows, speaking to each other of love and what they mean to each other. They said their I dos when I asked, and then Luca said the Our Father in Italian and Sarah repeated it in English. The moment was breathtaking and then they exchanged rings. I pronounced them husband and wife and the whole ceremony was caught on video. They brought out glasses and champagne. We toasted to love and happily ever after and I left them to celebrate their new love.

waiting and waiting and waiting

As a Justice of the Peace, I always try to be early. For a small wedding, most of the time the couple is there on time or a few minutes late.

Because Danbury has a beautiful park with a mansion, grape arbor and gazebo, I tend to recommend the use of the gazebo if the couple has not chosen a venue. April 1st I received a call from Joy. She and Dennie wanted to get married in late April and she wanted three children incorporated into ceremony, Leena, age 6, and twin boys Lemond and Larson, age 3. She scheduled the ceremony for noon and I suggested she call the director of the mansion to see if the gazebo was available.

I did not hear back from her and was ready to add the two names to a cancelled list that I keep in my records. The day was I working on my record updates, Joy called me back. She did call the director and the gazebo is available that afternoon but she asked if I could change the time to 2 p.m. I had an outdoor wedding at 4 p.m. at a park in Ridgefield scheduled but quickly calculated the time and distance knowing that I could still do both.

I agreed to the new time and arrived at 1:45 that afternoon. There was a women there, dressed up for a wedding in an airy, flowered sun dress, with four children in tow.  She was chatting with an older woman in a deep purple dress. The children were all quite young, ranging in age from one to about ten.  Two girls were in shorts and two had on dresses. The temperature was around 80 degrees and the sun was hot for April. Although there were no men in the small group, I introduced myself, hoping that one of the women was the bride.

Hope introduced herself as Joy's sister stating that she came down from Waterbury and thought she missed the wedding. I reminded her that the ceremony was to start at 2 and she said she was told to be there at 1 p.m. She introduced me to her aunt and to the girls, all were Joy's nieces. She added that thye stopped at a store on the way to Danbury so the girls could each have new outfits for the wedding. The six year old let me know they changed in the car.

Hope called Joy for me at exactly 2 p.m. and did not get an answer. I called 5 minutes later and was able to talk with Joy. I was told they are on the way. The kids played, ate candy and got messy, the aunt and sister talked, played on the phone and chided the kids. The afternoon dragged on and Joy finally arrived at 2:45 with Leena in tow. Joy was dressed in a tux, Leena had on a pretty white dress with white shoes, perfect for her mom's wedding. Joy said she talked to Dennie and that she is on the way with the boys and will be there shortly. I just continued pacing, gazebo, down sidewalk, up sidewalk, gazebo, repeat. I was a nervous wreck knowing I had to be in Ridgefield at 4 p.m. I did a quick map search on my phone and found that I can get to the park in twenty minutes.

I called the next groom, Luca, and asked if we could meet at 4:30 instead. He said no problem and that Sarah would prefer the later time. With a sigh of relief, I turned back to the problem at hand.

Dennie showed up with the two boys and the license at 3:30. Joy had paid me when she arrived. All the women tried to pull the twins outfits together, they were dressed up, black pants, white shirts, shirt tails hanging out, shoes ready to come off, suspenders falling off. I explained that I had to leave as soon as I was finished with the ceremony and suggested that we do the ceremony under the tree rather than at the gazebo because I knew moving the small crowd intact would be a difficult task.

You are now a family and I now pronounce you partners for life! I rushed back to my car to race to the next wedding in Richardson Park in Ridgefield. Not knowing exactly where I was going was even more stressful. I pulled into the parking lot at 4:15 pm, took a deep breath, found the next program, grabbed my purse to put in the trunk, picked up my robe and got out of the car. I made it there before the bride and groom.

fur and purrs

Woke up at 3:30 am, stressed, not able to sleep and over thinking everything. I got out of bed, planning to read, possibly sleeping on the couch, and I was joined by Peanut. We settled in, Peanut cuddled into my arms, over my chest in full purr mode.

I stroked her soft black fur for more than 45 minutes as she went back to sleep, now how can anyone be stressed while petting a cat, in full relax position?

She finally moved at 4:15 and I pulled out my nook until 5 am, when we both got up for the day. Routine kicked in, fold the blankets, check for the paper, FEED the Peanut, make the coffee, go out for the paper as Peanut follows down the stairs and waits patiently as I come in to race her back upstairs.

Today is total chaos with the added worry that mom-in-law fell yesterday, mom sees cardiologist for the first time since hospital stay and I am missing a 2 pm meeting after two meetings at work this morning, whew!

Beware the "ides of march" - tired, the morning after

"....time to make the doughnuts" I loved that commercial, I believe it showcases the everyday life we all lead.